I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
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we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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