its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
