i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize