This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
