So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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