I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
