I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
