Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
