Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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