it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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