Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Nicole vs. Life
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
