god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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