I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
