I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
