I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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