There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
