Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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