Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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