I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
