you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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