Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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