I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
