Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
