weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
