This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
