I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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