I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
