dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
