i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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