Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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