since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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