every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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