The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
