I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize