She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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