You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
