i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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