fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
