i think my mom watched the whole time
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
