I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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