hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
