I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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