You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
