She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize