We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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