I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
