Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
