people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
