i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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