Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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