Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
