Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
