He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Just puked most of my soul out..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
