I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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