I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
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I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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