Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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