lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just threw up on my dentist
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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