im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We need a shit load of segways right now
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
