You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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